Whiskey Dreams (Rebel Walking #7) Page 8

  She sings so passionately and she fucking nails the song. I was simply on repeat and enjoying the show that everyone else was watching as well, only I had the front row because she was turned, singing to me. I can imagine her singing this by herself for years in her car or the shower.

  “You did an amazing job. I thought you said you couldn’t sing.”

  “I can’t. That’s the one song I know the words to and that liquid courage was enough to send me up here. I said I wanted to do new things, so thanks for another first, Aiden.” She smiles and looks down. God. She’s going to break my damn heart.

  I lift her face to look at me again. I’ve done all the sweet gentlemanly shit, now I want to show her what I’m dying to be like with her. “I’m about to take you to the back alley and fuck you right here. You have got to stop looking so fuckin’ sexy around me.”

  “Do it, Cowboy.”

  Fuck. This is gonna hurt. Not the sex, but the goodbye.

  ~~~~~

  I lift her over my shoulder and walk her through all the people in my way. I’m just glad I know my way around here, because I slip into the back through the kitchen, then out the back door. I put her down right in front of a bare wall just around the corner where it’s dark and somewhat private. We both race to unzip our jeans while not taking our eyes off the other. This is going to be fast and hard and I don’t even care if someone is watching us.

  She practically climbs my body to get around my waist and I enter her slowly as I set her against the wall.

  “Stay with me, Kimber. We can be just like this every night.”

  “Don’t talk, Aiden. Fuck me like you promised.” I hear her warning and start to move. Leaning forward, I nibble on her ear before I move to her neck. My cock fills her and I’m glad we established this one would be fast because my will power must be back in the bar.

  I thrust forward on her and feel her fingers scrape my back as I finally get all the way in.

  I lift my shirt over my head and start to fuck her like I promised. Just like she wants. Just like I want.

  I keep a rhythm that’s sure to send me over soon, so I slide my finger over her clit and rub her until she’s scratching at my back again. Fuck me. I can’t hold off any longer, so I thrust a few more times. We both moan and make noise through our release and I ignore the car door behind us.

  I stare into her eyes and our breaths hit each other as my cock twitches the final few times.

  “You’re not supposed to be this fucking good, Aiden.” She’s out of breath just like I am and that worsens when we hear the voice.

  “You alright back here?” Fuck. This is going to be bad. She freezes and begins to slide down my body. Her face instantly changes to one of panic and I don’t know how she’s about to react.

  I try to whisper to her and calm her down. “Let me handle this.” We both bend for our jeans and work to get them back on.

  “Yeah man, we’re good.” I try to make my voice sound different, hoping he won’t come any closer. My body towers over Kimber so there’s no way he can see her behind me. But I’m watching her literally tick like she’s a time bomb about to go off. I place hands on her shoulders and bring my lips to hers as I try to make her remember I’m here.

  She pushes off of me and starts to run around the building. There’s no fucking way I’m letting her run from here and never see me again. She’s got that need to flee look in her eyes. I grab her wrist and stop her from running.

  “Cowboy. Is that your ass out here?” Fuck.

  Chapter Thirteen

  KIMBER

  Luke. Fuck. I deserve this. He’s going to be pissed that I’m off fucking his friend. I can’t believe we were so careless and now we’ve literally been caught with our pants down. I should never have come here. I should’ve left him to be happy when I left the first time. Coming here was a mistake and right now it’s all about to blow up in my damn face.

  Aiden releases my wrist when Luke says Cowboy. He turns and meets Luke at the edge of the building, so I slip behind it. I’m not facing Luke like this. I’ll find a cab or Uber or whatever the fuck I have to do to get out of here and I’ll never turn back. I can rent a car for now and come back for my Jeep later.

  I keep running in the darkness until I’m at least four buildings down, then stop to catch my breath. I know Aiden will be furious that I ran, but I’m hoping he manages to keep it from Luke that it was my voice he was hearing screaming like an insane person as Aiden made me come like I’ve never come before in my life. And that includes with Luke.

  I grab my chest and continue to search around me, looking for somewhere to go so that I can get a ride out of here.

  I see an overnight grocery store down the road and I contemplate going there to run, but stumble again as I try to walk. I’m out of my fucking mind. I’m drunk and running the streets. At night. By myself.

  This is like a horror movie waiting to happen. Realizing my limits, I turn the corner to go back to the bar. I walk slowly, trying to think of what I’ll say. How can I even explain this so that he won’t think I’m in some fucked up way trying to hang on to him and his life? This is his circle that I keep finding myself drawn to.

  I see Luke standing in the alley where I just fucked Aiden. He sees me walking and I have no idea if he’s processing what this means or not. I only know he looks great and I’m mad at myself for noticing.

  He wraps his arms around me when I walk up to him and I notice how he doesn’t feel like Aiden right away. It’s a much different hug.

  “I’ve been calling you. Why haven’t you answered?”

  “Luke. I’m not going to stay in touch with you. You need to live your life with Lilly. Don’t you have a baby coming soon?”

  “I do. Lilly sent me to make sure you’re ok.” Of course she did. Can Lilly be any more perfect?

  “Does it still look like you have a few weeks before it’s born?” I continue to make small talk because honestly, I don’t know what else to say.

  “Yes, that’s what they’re saying.”

  “Luke. I can’t do this. I walked away so that you can have your happiness and I need to find mine. If you do shit like this, how am I supposed to move on?”

  “I need to see that you’re ok and when you don’t fucking answer my calls, what do you expect me to do?” I look down because having him this close confuses me. I’m supposed to be able to find my home in his arms like I did the entire time we were together, but that’s not my home anymore. I don’t have one.

  “I’ll start answering your calls.”

  “Kimber. Please look at me. I don’t know what to say. I wish like hell things were different and I could be there for you too. It hurts me to see you hurting. I can fucking feel your pain from home and I can’t deal knowing you sacrificed so much for us. Just because Lilly is here, doesn’t mean that I ever stopped loving you.”

  “Fucking stop, Luke. Don’t you think this is goddamned hard enough on me? I love you. I love what we were supposed to be and I now know I was just a rite of passage for you.” My words hit me as I realize what I’m saying. “You needed me to get back to Lilly and I love that I could be that for you.”

  “And you needed me so you could break free of the hold those assholes had on you in California and for those reasons, we’ll always be an important part of each other’s lives. I didn’t come back here to say I love you and to try to get you back. I came back here to say I love you and you’ll always be a part of my story. I was real with you the entire way through and you deserve so much more than what I’ve put you through.”

  “Then let me find that. I need time, Luke.”

  “I’m sorry, Kimber. I needed to see that you’re ok. I’ll never apologize for checking on you and if you’d stop fucking running off before we can talk, I’d tell you that I want the best for you. I want to help you get your life started wherever you’d like to go, but I’d love more than anything if you’d move back and let us help you get settled in somewhere.” I lean a
gainst the wall and try to figure out how to tell him this.

  “Luke. They are your family. That is your home. As long as I’m there, you’ll have a part of your history that doesn’t fit. I know this and so do you. I want you to have what you deserve.”

  “Don’t you think I miss you being a part of my life? You were my fucking rock when I needed one. How can you just walk the fuck out of my life like that without a word?”

  “Because I know you love her. I know she’s your person. I know if given the damn choice, you’d choose her. Hell, I knew the second I saw the two of you together that I don’t fit in the puzzle.” He looks away and I can see him hurting. It kills me because I want this to be easy on him. I’m the only one who is supposed to hurt. “Tell me, Luke. Tell me you would’ve chosen me. And I’ll know you’re lying.” Tears begin to fall and I hate that I can’t stop them.

  “No, but I would’ve never chosen to throw you to the trash.” I turn away from him and look back at Rosie’s as I see Aiden walking toward us.

  “I’m going to be fine. I promise. I’ll be leaving in the morning for New York City. I’m going to see a gym owner there and possibly start working with a few female fighters in the area.” It’s not a lie. I actually thought of this idea this morning and I’m even considering training for fights myself.

  Before Aiden gets close enough, Luke says one last thing. “You know, you never screamed for me like that. You and Cowboy must’ve really connected.” Because I’m half drunk, I can’t let it go.

  “We have a few times.” His eyes grow wide and I let Aiden walk up to me and I put my arm around his waist. I didn’t say that to make him jealous. I said it to clear the air with him about Aiden. I don’t want secrets. I don’t want to lie. I just want to live.

  “You two ready to go to the cabin?” Luke holds out his keys and I instantly dread telling him. Fuck.

  I ride in the backseat of an SUV that Luke must’ve rented. I notice Luke and Aiden aren’t talking much, but that’s perfect for me because I’m planning my escape route in the morning. With these two in the house, I’m going to have hell just leaving without all the bad goodbye crap that I hate.

  I watch Aiden as he begins to tell Luke how we met that night before we knew each other. He’s brushing over some of my favorite parts of the night, but none that I’d tell Luke. We get to the quiet cabin and I wonder where the drunk feelings went. I know I drank enough to still be feeling it all, but shit If I’m not feeling more sober than drunk at this point.

  We pull up to the cabin and I go straight to the master bedroom. “Goodnight. See you in the morning.” Luke’s voice is loud and echoes through the cabin. I close the door and decide right then and there that I’ll be leaving in just a few hours, before either of them wake up.

  Chapter Fourteen

  AIDEN

  She closes the door and I look at Luke glaring at me. I’m not quite sure how this conversation is going to go, but I’m prepared to stand behind how I feel about Kimber. It’s not like I fucked her just to fuck her. There’s a damn true connection there and as weird as it is for us, I’m sure he’ll have a more difficult time with it. I wait for him to say something while I walk to the cabinet with the alcohol. I have a feeling I’m going to need another drink.

  “Is she hurting?” That’s not what I expected him to say. I was actually ready for him to slam me against the wall when I passed him, but he didn’t.

  “She’s lost.” I pour a second glass and hand it to him. He takes it back quickly and sets the glass back on the table.

  “I hate this shit. I don’t know how to fucking fix her. This situation is just a cluster fuck.” Luke grabs his hair in frustration and I wish I had an answer for him.

  “They say time heals everything. Maybe she just needs some time. Let her spread her own wings and see where she lands. Then you can support her in the life she decides on.” I pour another half glass for the both of us and watch him process all of this. “Do you still love her or something?”

  ‘Yes I fucking love her. I can’t just turn this shit off.” He sits on the bar stool and sets both elbows on the bar to use to prop his head up. I can see that the turmoil he’s feeling is getting to him.

  “Do you want her back?” That’s the simple question that means everything to the both of them right now. Looking at him, I’m not sure I can guess what his answer will be.

  “Lilly is my life. I just don’t know how to fix this for Kimber. She got dealt the shittiest hand in this whole mess.” He’s not lying and I’ve gotta give it to him for caring enough about her to not just throw her out. Kimber made the right choice to leave him even though I can still see love there for both of them. I can imagine Luke’s love for Kimber is a whole lot different than his love for Lilly.

  “She told me the two of you have been hooking up.” Shit, there it is. I feel a little better knowing where his head is before we had this conversation.

  “Let’s pour one more and go out on the back deck.” He nods and holds out his glass for me to add more Gentleman to it. I let him lead the way and I fight the urge to open the door to check on her as we pass. That pull she has on me is strong, but I want to clear the air with Luke while I have the chance.

  He sits first, then I lean up against the railing so I can face him as I say all of this.

  “It’s more than just a hookup for me. She’s an amazing woman and from the second I met her, I was drawn to her. She fuckin’ introduced herself as Brie; damn I had no idea who she was. That first night she got to me, Luke. You know I would’ve never crossed you.”

  “I’m not mad. I get it. Hell, I’m happy she’s trying to move on and living a little.”

  “She’s had a rough life. I’ve enjoyed helping her get through these last few days and most of the time, I could get her to smile and be genuinely happy. There were just a few times that she kept coming back to you. She was worried that you’d find out about us.” He looks up at me as I talk so I continue. “It’s going to take her a while to find herself. We may just have to give her the space to do that.” He listens to me finish and takes back the last of his glass before he stands.

  “You going to bed?” I’m curious about where he’s headed.

  “Yep. I’m sleeping in her Jeep. I know she’ll be gone by morning. I’m not letting her leave this time without a goodbye.” I watch him open the glass, then walk quietly through the cabin until he’s going out the front door. I contemplate whether or not he’s right and finish my own glass of whiskey.

  I kick off my boots at her door and open the door to a room filled with darkness. I let my eyes adjust to her under the covers on the other side of the bed, so I slide in behind her. She’s tense as I put my arms around her and pull her against me to cuddle. I’m fully clothed and it feels like she is too, but that’s not what this is about. This is about me showing her that I’m here for her. She’s not alone and I’m not all about the sex.

  It takes her a few minutes to relax in my arms and I feel her move back into me just slightly as her whole body changes. I can feel her tears.

  KIMBER

  He held me as I let my tears fall down my cheek and then continued to hold me when he finally fell asleep. His breathing changed about an hour ago and I’ve been struggling with the thought of moving out of his arms I’m going to miss him, but I know I’ll be taking a piece of him with me.

  I need to do this for me. Then one day, maybe I’ll meet him again and who knows where life will take us then. I slide out of bed and manage to do it without waking him up. I tip toe as the wood floors creak underneath my feet. It doesn’t take me long to gather my bag and walk out the door, leaving him behind me in the bed he made love to me in.

  I close my eyes as I think about how alone I already feel walking away from him. I glance around the main living room expecting to see Luke on the couch or something, but he’s not there. I hope this doesn’t mean he left after he brought us here last night.

  I quickly see that isn’t the ca
se when I see his rental car next to my Jeep. I fight to get the last of my stuff from the front entry way so that I can make one trip. Closing the door behind me, I take a deep breath of the dark air and take a step toward my new life. Then I take another. Before long I’m almost to my Jeep. “Just get in and drive away. Start your new life right here Kimber.”

  I open the door to my Jeep and practically have heart failure when Luke sits up and starts talking. “Maybe your new life has already started.”

  “Shit, Luke. You scared the crap out of me. You’re lucky I have my arms full of bags or I would’ve kicked your ass.” He laughs at me. Alright, we both know I could never kick his ass, but I could sure fuck him up a bit, because I know he’d never hurt a woman.

  The fighter in me still comes to surface pretty easily, even though I’ve worked like hell to suppress her since I left California.

  “Where you headed in the middle of the night?”

  “Why are you in my Jeep?” I’m not telling him where I’m going. He needs to let me do this.

  “Because I’m not letting you go this time without a goodbye.”

  “Damnit Luke. Get out of my Jeep!”

  “You get in and talk to me, then I’ll go.” I throw my bags in the backseat of my Jeep, feeling as pissed off as I possibly can. Why is he doing this shit?

  I get in the driver’s seat and slam the door. My breath is sporadic and my heart is beating like crazy and let’s not even talk about the chaos in my mind as I try to think about what he’s going to say.

  “I want you happy, Kimber. If that means you seeing how things go with Cowboy, by all means please don’t leave because you’re worried that I’ll hate you both for it.” He turns to look at me as he talks and I can’t stand this. He’s making me crazy.